I cannot yet confirm or deny if I am on a culturally European island. The only clue I've got so far is that they speak French, so Europe 1-0 Caribbean.
As with most places in the world that aren't your bedroom at home, the wifi is a bit dodge. But the mattress is perfectly firm-yet-soft and the pillows are super squidgy and the air con works just enough so I'm pretty happy. There's also an amazing beach at the edge of the hotel, but that's not air conned.
I kind of feel obliged to enjoy paradise (aka the beach). There's lots of obligations that come along with happiness actually. Quite often easier to sit at home being content (shout out to my brother). Not sure which is better yet- will let you know by the end of the week.